Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Nothing says grown up like teddy bear back packs

Okay I try not to comment on pop culture mainly because well, that's what they all want is to be talked about.  But I got to say the garbage that came out of the VMA's was too much for me to keep quiet on.  I refuse to mention what's her face's name because, she doesn't deserve another hit on her name when she google's herself.

When I first saw pictures and shamefully yes I watched the previously Disney Star princess's performance, I was disgusted.  Literally.  In her efforts to be sexy like Britany, edgy like Rhianna, immortal like Madonna, weirdly interesting like Lady Gaga, and rock n roll like Avril Lavign, she ended up coming off as desperate and dirty.  Then as I thought more and more about it, I started to laugh, because the drum that she has been nauseatingly beating ever since she left Disney has been "I'm all grown up".  Well after this weekend's performance, she's proven anything but.  And honestly, we only have to look at the surface to see what Frued in his cocaine induced dilleriums would have concluded.

  • The hair cut matches that of a 3 yr old who came across her mom's scissors and decided to cut it herself. Leaving us with the butchered result.
  • Pigtails - no further comment necessary
  • The overly bright red lipstick is reminiscent of those times when we all pawed through our mom's make up and applied her red lipstick liberally
  • Dancing bears on stage
  • The costume tells the tale of the child who has been swimming all summer long and consequently has been living in their swim suit and jumped in some tennies because shoes are required to leave the house
  • The only prop present were overly sized teddy bear backpacks!
This is a call for mothers around the world to protect your daughters, raise them right, don't let them think that this behavior is ever anything but what it really is.  Garbage.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My First Race! And other updates

Yes folks, you read that title right.  I, Chelsea May, actually ran a road race.  It was a 5k and I trained all of 3 days for it, but I did it.  I got to a point where I thought, "I hate running.  Why am I trying to make a hobby of it?"  And then my brother started dating someone (now they're engaged!) and thought we should do a family run when we all visit together over the 4th of July.  Peer pressure is a very real thing my friends.  So I signed up thinking, "It's April. I've got plenty of time to train for it"  So I ran once and thought I hurt my foot (turned out all I needed to do was massage the muscles that run along the shin bone). And didn't run again until June came and I finally decided to buckle down and do something about this running stuff.  Mind you, I was riding on a stationary bike 3 times a week so I wasn't completely hopeless.

I ran 1.25 miles, then 1.70 miles, then 2.5 miles in the two weeks leading up to the race and I felt good and ready.  Tommy kept getting all excited and pumped about the whole thing and I honestly was just hoping to actually run the whole way.  We all got together for the race and I just didn't feel  into the whole thing because I felt like it wasn't my thing, I don't have a time goal, whatever.  I figured I was probably between a 10-12 min mile pace. That's how little I cared.  I hadn't even time my runs! I was totally unprepared for it too.  I forgot to make a playlist on my phone, I didn't charge it or my i pod.  So by the time we got to the race I had about 40% battery left and a dead ipod.  I even forgot about how to store my phone to keep sweat out so I quickly grabbed a plastic baggy instead.  I honestly had no feelings about the race.  I just didn't think much about it.

So they finally started letting us line up and my super competitive family all heads to about the middle of the "faster" runners group.  I really wanted to go hang out by the group of slow runners/fast walkers but then I would have felt stupid standing by a bunch of grandmas.  At this point though with all the excitement and adrenaline made me temporarily delusional and I thought that I could probably keep up with my future sister-in-law.  Well the gun shot went off and we all start pushing towards the starting line.  I remembered Tommy saying that you always start off faster in a race and that can slow your overall time down so I was really focused on starting off slow and steady.  Well I thought I'd be able to keep up with my future sister-inlaw but I swear from where my pace was at she was a Nigerian sprinter.   Very quickly I realized I was running this thing alone.  Then the rest of the running pack all sprinted around me.  I felt like Simba in the Lion King during the wildabeast stampede.   

Once the stampede died down, it hit me.  This race is going to suck.  Not because it was going to be hard physically, I really knew I could do the distance.  But mentally, it was going to be terrible. Normally, I have no pride when it came to my running.  I am a terrible runner and I don't care.  But now I was running in a very public race, against a lot of people who actually did care and who actually did train and I was going to look stupid.  I am a seriously competitive person.  I've always been very athletic and enjoyed being good at the sports I was apart of. I mean, I'm the daughter of a man who won't play games with his family because the competitive side of him can't stand it if he's losing for goodness sake.  Genetically speaking, I didn't stand a chance about not being competitive.

So once the grandparents started to pass me I was really started to rethink the whole thing.  When this young couple (probably late 20's) sped walked past me I got really ticked.  I mean come on, what are they going for? The fastest speed walkers? Where's the pride in that? You're what 28, 29...pick up your feet and just run!!Luckily I did pass the old man dressed in these American flag running shorts that I think he was trying to make into a thong and the tightest white tank top spread over his rolly polly belly.  So I had that going for me.  I at least was going to beat the guy with no fashion sense and no shame.
When I got to the first mile marker there was a guy sitting in a truck announcing peoples' times as they ran by and I was just praying he'd accidentally forget to say my time (even though there were about 2 other runners by me).  I honestly didn't even want to know.  (let's just say my earlier 10-12 min mile pace prediction was being generous).  Then he said over his microphone "way to go".  Ugh!! I was getting sympathy from people.  Then I started to panic and think, "what must these people be thinking about me?" I mean what's my story.  most of the people around me were either pretty heavy set or old so they had their excuse.  Me? I'm not like super thin but I'm no heavy weight either and I look like I'm 18 most of the time.  I kept praying they thought maybe I was a terminally ill patient or something like that.

Thank goodness that I even took the mental energy to come up with a goal in the first place (run the whole race) because that kept me focused on something other than how slow I was.

By about 2.5 miles I realized my phone was dying.  Great, just what I needed, to be alone with my own shame.  In the next quarter mile this silly older lady in a floppy hat kept running past me and then walking.  Then I'd pass her and she'd jog ahead of me and then walk.  Over and over again.  It was super annoying.  So finally I got to a point where this group of people said we had only 2 blocks left and I decided to just full out sprint.  There were a couple of reasons, one, the floppy hat lady was making me the person that she was going to beat, and my pride wasn't going to stand for that and two, I wanted people to see that even though my time was pretty much 40 minutes and a lot of old people were a lot faster than me, I could sprint if I wanted to, I was just choosing not too (or so that was my story).

When I finished I just tried to be happy about the whole thing and laugh about it.  Tommy, I got to tell you, is an amazing husband.  He was so sincere and happy that I had actually run the whole thing and so excited for me.  It really made the whole thing worth it.  Right between the first and second 1/2 mile I decided I was never going to run another race again.  But as we were listening to the awards (Tommy actually got second place in his age group!!) I made the decision to start actually running and training hard.  I know I can be much faster than what I ran.  I was being really conservative with my energy because I have run 3 miles straight maybe 3 times in my life so I didn't know how my body would react.  But I really think that I can do better (I mean I can't get much worse!!) and I am glad I did it but thank goodness for my pride because that's a huge motivating factor into getting back out there running.

I know I haven't talked much about Zach so please enjoy these videos of him.  He's super cute, I love him immensely, and he's developed a little attitude that makes me laugh all the time.
Zach LOVES the missionaries. 









Tommy's superman birthday cake I made


He loves this nerf gun so much, he wouldn't let go of it



There's that attitude I love so much

Go K-State!


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A Zach Update

So I'm sure a lot of you are wondering, what's up with Zach these days? Why haven't we seen more of him? Well to be honest, it's just really hard to capture Zach in a picture lately.  He is super active and so much fun.  He has been walking since Christmas which means a lot of activity.  It's been so much fun watching him grow up.  Most days I can't believe how different he seems.  He started shaking his head no to things which causes some frustration but we're learning to deal with this new level of independence.  Zach loves to explore things and I end up getting a whole lot of nothing done because I get distracted watching him.

He likes to watch us cook so we put him on a chair to watch.  It's fun having a buddy to help in the kitchen.  His favorite game right now is to throw things over the gate at the top of the stairs, especially balls.  So our stairs are a constant hazards zone.  I can't wait to get him outside in our yard.  He is going to appreciate it a lot more this year and it will be fun to watch him.  Um...what else? He's communicating really well in his own little language and that's fun trying to figure out what he's saying.  Zach can point out different body parts and can say some animal noises like neigh, meow, sss (for a snake) and hoo hoo for an owl.  He loves throwing balls and playing basketball with Tommy.  Zach also gets sad when Tommy leaves for class which is cute and slightly heart breaking.

So I don't have many pictures because this is a normal photo shoot:




So I have all but given up on photos of him.  But here are a few rare moments that I managed to capture by some miracle over the last few months and by rare I mean a lot because it's been 3 months since I last posted anything about Zach:
ON THE PLANE TO ARIZONA

A PRESENT FROM SANTA

CHRISTMAS JAMMIES AND SANTA GIFTS


ZACH GOT HIS OWN CHAIR FREE OF CHARGE

STEAK AND SHAKE

WATCHING K-STATE BOWL GAME
ZACH'S RIDE
LOVE THIS PHOTO
HE LOVES OLIVES

FIRST HAIR CUT










FIRST PICTURE

ZACH LOVES FORTS

FACE PAINTING


ZACH'S NEW SUIT COAT (FOR $4!)

HIS TENT ($15!) I LOVE A GOOD DEAL




OUR ATTEMPT AT CHUCK E CHEESE






ZACH'S FIRST TIME IN THE SNOW (HE BORROWED GLOVES FROM HIS COUSIN DELAINIE)



ONE OF OUR MANY UNINTENDED ROAD TRIPS

MY ATTEMPTS AT HOME MAKING

WE STOPPED IN MY OLD TOWN IN FEBRUARY

ZACH ZONING OUT FOR A BIT.  IT WAS A ROUGH DAY

HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY!  WE HAD PESTO PASTA BC WE DON'T CARE FOR CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE

HAIR CUT #2

MOMMA AND Z

A SPRING TIME SNOW.  THIS SIGHT ALMOST BROUGHT ME TO TEARS

 ZACH WAS NOT A HUGE FAN OF THE RIDES AT CHUCK E CHEESE
 ZACH SUPER HYPER AFTER BEING IN A CAR FOR FOUR HOURS


 MORE HYPERNESS
 ZACH LOVES FISHIES
 HE'S LEARNING TO RUN
 US AT THIS CHILDREN'S DISCOVERY CENTER.  THE LITTLE BOY WAS FASCINATED BY ZACH